


What Had You Done?

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Secret Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 08:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9430280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry ;)





	

Walking away from him had been the hardest decision you had ever made. Watching him tear up as you broke up with him, not truly understanding why you were doing it, broke your heart, but you had too. His job was too dangerous and it wasn’t just you anymore.

As you walked into the nursery, you saw little Spencer rolling around in his crib. Every day he looked more and more like his father. You hated keeping them apart and maybe one day you’d regret it, but you’d seen the toll this job took on his friend’s kids. Hotch’s son had lost his mother. JJ’s kids nearly lost her. And if someone came after little Spencer to get back at his father - you had no idea if you’d be able to go on anymore. He was the light of you life and without a doubt the best decision you had ever made. If you were only proud of one thing in your life, it was being his mother. “Hey, Little Man,” you cooed, as you walked in to pick him up.

“Mama,” he babbled. He’d just started saying it and your heart could not have been lighter. “Mama, mama, mama.” He continued to babble as you put him in his high-chair, getting ready to feed him his breakfast before heading out. 

After leaving Spencer, you a state over to West Virginia, knowing it would be too tough to be so close to him knowing the secret you kept. “Cheerios this morning, baby boy?” you questioned, watching as he reached his little hands out for the circles of grain. “We do love cheerios.”

Once he was fed, you hopped in the shower, allowing him to crawl around the bathroom floor. You had some errands to run, so you got him changed, then yourself, then yourself again because he had pooped everywhere and gotten it all over you, and finally you were out the door. Even with little Spencer, life was always eventful.

———-

Cases brought him all over the country, but thankfully this one was fairly close to home. It had been a little over a year since Y/N left him and he still missed her, so the thought of traveling all over the country, keeping his head in a work space and trying to banish thoughts of her from his memory made him want to explode. At least this way he wouldn’t be traveling so much.

After getting off the plane and heading to the local police station, he caught sight a someone. A woman who looked just like Y/N. “Is that Y/N?” JJ asked, pointing across the street to the convenience store. It looked exactly like her from the profile, but it couldn’t be; she was carrying an approximately one-year-old baby on her hip. Y/N didn’t have kids. When she turned around to grab a cart, his heart dropped. That was her smile. It was her. And she had a baby.

“That’s her,” he breathed, the tears flooding to his eyes as he realized what that meant. “She has a baby. That’s my…” Without thinking about the case, he stormed across the street, following the woman that broke his heart into the store, wondering what her excuse was for keeping a child from him.

———-

“Hey,” you heard someone say angrily behind you. You were about to turn around and give them a piece of your mind for being so rude when you saw who it was.

“Spencer,” you said, biting your lip. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here on a case!” he said hotly. “I should ask you what you’re doing here, specifically with him.” He pointed towards the baby, knowing exactly who he was. “Please tell me that’s not my son. I’d rather think you left me and immediately started dating someone else than think of the alternative.”

You stood there in shock, wanting to continue the lie, but knowing it was futile at this point. Eyes wide, he turned around and pulled at his hair. “You’re kidding me right?” he yelled.

You attempted to quiet him, but it wasn’t working, so you grabbed his arm and led him out of the side of the store. Once you were safely outside, away from the ears of others, you opened your mouth to try and explain, but he immediately started yelling again. “That’s my child,” he said sadly, looking at little Spencer with tears in his eyes. “I have a son…that’s my son…why? Why would you keep him from me Y/N?”

Junior looked over toward Spencer, and although he didn’t take to strangers very well, and he didn’t know his father, he reached out for him - it broke you. “I’m sorry, Spence,” you sobbed, looking between father and son and realizing the mistake you made. “When I got pregnant, I got scared. I saw what your job did to Hotch and JJ and their kids and I didn’t want to do that to him. I wanted to do what I thought was best for him.”

“And keeping him away from me? That’s what was best for him. Y/N,” he cried, his lip quivering as a tear fell down his face, “I would’ve done anything for you. And if I’d known…I would’ve done anything for him. You would’ve gone our entire lives never telling me I had a son?” he looked at you in disbelief, inching closer to the baby. 

Crossing your arms over your chest, you began to sob harder. “I don’t know,” you said honestly. “I thought it was the best thing for him. Maybe one day I would’ve changed my mind, but I don’t know. This wasn’t done to hurt you, Spence. I loved…I love you. I did what I did for him.”

He crouched down to the ground, his head in his hands as he sobbed. After a few minutes, during which time little Spencer looked thoroughly confused, Spence rose up from the ground more composed than before. “C-Can I hold him?”

You picked junior out of the cart, handing him over to Spencer and watching as he sobbed against his son’s cheek. “Hi, little man,” he said. “I’m your daddy.” Spence was great with him. Watching the two interact made you realize what you’d done; you’d denied him the right to watch him grow as you had. He looked up at you, no longer angry, just sad. “What’s his name?”

“Spencer,” you smiled, grabbing the little one’s hand and kissing it. “Spencer Michael. Spence, I…I’m sorry, I can’t begin to tell you how much. Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?”

“Honestly,” he said, looking between you and the baby and smiling, “I don’t know. I want to, but I can’t believe this. Can you please give me a chance to be a father? Move back home. Let me be a part of his life. I promise I’ll do anything necessary to keep him safe, just…let me be his dad,” he cracked.

“I have to back out my lease and find a job by you, but okay,” you said, wishing you could take back what you’d done. Spencer had missed the first year of his son’s life and it was all your fault. “I’m sorry,” you repeated for the fiftieth time, realizing it might never be enough.

“We’ll work on this when we get back,” he said, grabbing your fingers and bringing you into him. “For now, I just want to look at him.”

“He looks more and more like you every day,” you said. 

“Dada?” Junior questioned. Both of you started to sob harder still.

Through tears, you watched as little Spencer lifted his arms and placed them around his father’s neck, resting comfortably as he rocked him. What had you done?


End file.
